2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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