Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
