butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
