I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
