porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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