if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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