i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize