my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize