She is in my trunk
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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