Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
