I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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