me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
