..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
