I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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