I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I intend to get homeless drunk
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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