problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
