Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
