last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
