well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
