And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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