just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
