the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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