It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
