My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize