Your tits are I can't wait for
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
