I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
