belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
