My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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