11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Blow job season was short but glorious.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
