Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
