im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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