Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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