i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
