I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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