just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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