i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
