we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
