i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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