Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
