Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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