Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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