Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
