And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize