she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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