he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
