You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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