Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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