Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize