so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
and she was petting her beer can
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
