If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
