i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
