yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
