new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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