It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
