a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
