Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
