Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
