Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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