All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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