dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
